Sex-Crazed Dogs with Flippers: Everett's Harbor Seals

The article originally published March 27, 2018.

The internet wants to see baby seal posts.

Every summer it happens. Someone uploads an oh-so-cute video of a harbor seal basking adorably on the docks at the Everett Marina.

Then come the gushy comments and the “I saw one too!” reposts. And why not? Seals are basically dogs with flippers. And you know how the internet loves dogs.

It’s pretty cool that our urban environment is home to so many pinnipeds.

But are harbor seals the cuddly puppy-like critters that we think they are? Or are they an international bunch with busy sex lives? A bit of both as we’ll discover.

*Baby harbor seal near Everett. Photo credit: Alan Bain*

There are a lot of them

Harbor seals appear in coastal waters of the northern Atlantic and Pacific Oceans and the Baltic and North Seas. That means there are German harbor seals, Japanese harbor seals, and Norwegian harbor seals. How can you tell them apart? Ask them what language they speak.

There are upwards of 600,000 harbor seals in the world.

Our Everett seals are technically a subspecies called the Pacific common seal. Look how cute:

Are they small and fuzzy?

Yes. Undeniably. One time my wife and I saw a baby harbor seal on a beach in Shoreline during pup season. It was completely adorable, just like a spotted furry bedroom slipper that had come to life, only more muscular. It had huge wet eyes like an anime character.

Young pups, called “weaners,” drink milk as baby mammals tend to do. When they’re hungry they call for their mothers with a cry that sounds like “maaaaaa!”

Tell me that’s not precious.

But also

The adults can grow up to six feet long and weigh up to 290 pounds. I’ve seen some of the big fellas at the Everett Marina, too. They use the docks there as “haul out sites” meaning they plop down and bask their fat bellies in the sun. Mostly they’re shy, but can be dangerous if approached.

Harbor seal sex

It’s a subheading that I thought I’d never type. But the sex life of harbor seals is pretty fascinating in that their mating system is unknown. There are hundreds of thousands of harbor seals all over the world but scientists haven't been able to download the seal Tinder app.

Harbor seals are thought to be polygamous and a big problem with seal colonies on the west coast is the rampant spread of a type of seal herpes.

Which brings us back to Everett

Right now is harbor seal mating and pup season. Keep your eyes peeled for cute little baby seals along the waterfront. They are vulnerable and you can almost walk right onto them without noticing.

If you see one be sure to give them lots of space. But there’s nothing wrong with taking a picture. In fact, you should take a picture.

The internet wants to see it.